Food Cravings Explained And The Surprising Reasons Behind Them

When you’re walking around the grocery store, do you stop yourself from buying cookies because you’re convinced you’ll eat them all in one sitting? Or maybe whenever the waiter or waitress brings chips and cheese dip, you feel powerless and can’t stop eating them.

If you feel out of control around food in these ways or others, you’re not alone. You may think it’s a problem with your willpower or that you need to avoid food more (spoiler alert: it’s neither).

We spoke with dietitians who shared several other explanations they think are actually at play.

Yes, you read that right. Feeling out of control around food may mean you’re not eating enough rather than you’re eating “too much.”

“When we don’t give our body enough to eat throughout the day or week, the very natural assumption is for our body to assume we don’t have enough opportunities to eat and therefore encourage you to take advantage of chances to eat when they arise, which could mean eating past fullness, feeling out of control around food, eating to the point of feeling physically sick or even eating a lot of foods you don’t really enjoy,” said Brenna O’Malley, a non-diet dietitian and owner of The Wellful (and who also inspired this piece with her Instagram graphic).

Eating too little isn’t always purposeful. O’Malley spoke to how our diet-obsessed culture can disconnect us from our body’s signals.

“If you’re feeling like, ‘I have no idea what my hunger or fullness cues are,’ you’re not alone,” she said.

The fix: “One of the first steps to building a healthy and trusting relationship with food and your body is to give yourself enough to eat throughout the day, each day,” O’Malley said.

A generally helpful structure, she continued, is eating every three to four hours, starting within an hour of waking up.

A dietitian can help you figure out the specifics, and the Association for Size Diversity and Health has a database that can help you find the right fit.

Even if you don’t think you’re currently or actively trying to restrict your intake, that mindset can still sit in your subconscious.

“No shame to anyone who’s done a Whole30, been a member of Noom and spent a year trying intermittent fasting — you’re probably in the majority,” said Christine Byrne, a dietitian and the owner of Ruby Oak Nutrition in Raleigh, North Carolina. “The thing about these diets is that their rules don’t just fall out of your brain the second you go off of them. … If you’re not intentional about challenging the food rules you’re holding onto, it’s likely that you’ll feel confused and out of control around food.”

The fix: If you notice dieting food rules in your head — like “I shouldn’t eat X food because Y reason” — Byrne encouraged challenging the thought.

“You know that the diet didn’t work for you, so why are you still playing by its rules?” she said.

She also shared some words of hope: “Over time, you’ll find that the food rule voice in your head will die down, and you’ll be able to eat with less guilt and second-guessing.”

Maybe you had an “almond mom” growing up — one who pushed you to eat as little as possible. Or maybe your current roommate is particular about eating “clean” or says she’s “bad” when she eats a processed snack.

“If someone in your household is really restrictive about food, that mindset can rub off on you and make you feel guilty about your own eating habits,” Byrne said.

The fix: A hard and important skill is needed here — setting boundaries.

“Try talking to the person about how their own food habits are making you feel,” Byrne said. “It’s not your job or your place to change their diet, but you’re totally within your rights to let them know how these things are affecting you.”

That might look like discussing what you two will and won’t talk about when it comes to food or how you can keep foods your roommate doesn’t want in the house, she explained.

As O’Malley noted, most people need to eat every three to four hours. If you haven’t eaten in a while, it makes sense you might feel ravenous or have an urge to eat past the point of fullness.

“When we do get an opportunity to have a meal or snack, it can lead to feeling out of control around food, related to wanting to quickly manage our hunger to feel better physically,” said Jessica Barth Nesbitt, a registered dietician and regional director of nutrition at Eating Recovery Center.

Besides an empty feeling in your stomach, other signs of hunger can include headaches, stomach pain and lightheadedness, she added.

The fix: Try to eat as consistently and regularly as possible. You may need to plan ahead and keep snacks or easy meal prep items around, Nesbitt said, especially if you have to navigate a busy or changing schedule.

Have you ever said “no” to a food or tried to avoid it because you think eating it makes you “bad” or because you’ve already had “enough” “bad” foods that day? Read on.

“Food rules aren’t always as straightforward as ‘I’m going to eat less.’ They can also be an obsession, preoccupation or feelings of guilt or shame about eating certain foods,” O’Malley said. (We can thank diet pill ads, food marketing and other diet culture propaganda for that.)

Then, when you “can’t” have something, you (naturally) want it more.

“When we feel guilty about eating, it can influence how we allow ourselves to eat, making us eat too little, fall into the binge-restrict cycle [and] choose lower-calorie, less-satisfying foods, which leave us overly hungry later on,” O’Malley said.

The fix: Besides eating enough and eating regularly, O’Malley recommended trying to remove morality and judgments from eating and food. This can help you have a healthier relationship with food and yourself and make life easier in certain ways.

“If you feel that your food choices determine your worth, value or superiority as a person, this adds a lot of pressure to something you need to do multiple times a day, every day,” O’Malley said. “Let me be clear: You are never guilty for eating food; eating is necessary for all humans.”

Back to the point of moralizing food or food shaming, you may not let yourself buy certain foods because you’re afraid you won’t be able to stop eating them. You may think it’s “safer” to just not have that food around to “tempt” you.

So when you are around those foods, you may subconsciously or consciously see that as your last or only chance to have them, which perpetuates a “last supper” mentality, O’Malley explained. As a result, you may eat past fullness and feel ashamed.

“You feel like the day is ruined,” said Kimmie Singh, a registered dietician and a member of Project HEAL’s HEALers Circle. “This triggers a sense of scarcity around these ‘forbidden’ foods as individuals prepare to restrict them, so they see it as a last chance to enjoy these foods that they are convinced they should rarely have in the future.”

These patterns become cyclical.

The fix: Addressing and embracing different patterns may take some time, especially since you’re probably unlearning drilled-in narratives — and the work is worth it.

“It might seem counterintuitive, but when we are eating enough food regularly, are working to see foods as morally equal and are allowing ourselves to enjoy foods we like without guilt, we feel less out of control around them and can enjoy them without only feeling out of control,” O’Malley said.

To start, she suggested picking one of those foods (a low-to-moderately challenging one) and having it in the house for a few weeks. Then, notice how your relationship with the food changes when you give yourself full permission to eat it whenever you want.

It’s important to know that you may still feel out of control or ashamed at times. Being kind and patient with yourself is crucial; otherwise, you may get thrown back into the cycle.

This mindset can also influence your eating patterns, according to O’Malley.

“This can encourage a binge-restrict cycle or make you feel like you need to compensate for eating food,” she said. “This mentality is a slippery slope of disordered eating and can make it feel like you need to do mental gymnastics to determine what you ‘deserve’ or are ‘allowed’ to eat each day.”

Again, it can make you feel like you have to eat as much of that food as possible in the moment because you “can’t” have it tomorrow. Hence, the binge-restrict cycle.

The fix: Notice if these patterns resonate with you, O’Malley said, and check in with yourself: How much time each day are you thinking or worried about food choices?

Then, look at other patterns and how you may want to address them.

She suggested asking yourself, “Are you eating enough? How can you tell? Do you think it would be enough, satisfying and enjoyable for a friend or loved one? Can you start to challenge morality labels around food and remind yourself that your body needs food multiple times a day, every day, and you are never guilty or needing to compensate for eating?”

If you feel upset about something, you may turn to food to feel better.

“Utilizing food or engaging in emotional eating can occur as a coping response to help manage negative emotions, including depression, anxiety, loneliness and boredom,” Nesbitt said.

Now, emotional eating isn’t inherently bad — in fact, it’s common, normal and understandable! So it’s important to be compassionate and understanding with ourselves about it, too.

“We all only have this current moment, and this moment can include foods that feel nourishing in a variety of ways, including related to pleasure,” Singh said.

At the same time, combining this coping skill with others may be the most beneficial.

The fix: Nesbitt recommended a consistent eating schedule as well as other emotion regulation skills. A few (of many) examples include naming the emotion, doing an activity you enjoy and practicing positive self-talk.

Like emotions, being unhappy in our bodies can also contribute to a feeling of powerlessness around food — but in a slightly different way.

For example, you may want to lose weight and opt to eat less or not get as much variety in your diet.

“The reality is that food and body are both far more complex,” Singh said. “Eating to shrink your body tends to discourage individuals from listening to their hunger and fullness cues, ultimately leaving them struggling to regulate while eating and feeling more out of control during meals. This can bring up shame both around eating and also about how they feel toward their bodies.”

The fix: Singh encouraged focusing on body image work.

“It may be helpful to learn about societal beauty standards and how they affect the way we view ourselves,” she said. “It may also be helpful to ask yourself how you can be kinder to your body.”

She provided examples of the latter, such as getting enough rest, practicing stress reduction techniques, making time for fun and eating enough food.

That’s right. If you feel out of control around food, you may need to eat it more — your sugary favorites included.

If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org for support.